Spiritual Impact of Trauma: Trauma in Missionary Life

Missiology: An International Review, Vol. XXIII, No. 1, January, 1995 pp71-83

Trauma in Missionary Life

by Robert Grant Ph.D

Abstract

Many missionaries suffer from a variety of psychological, physical and spiritual injuries. Many of these injuries are the result of living and working in environments characterised by violence, disease, inhumane living conditions, social oppression, and political corruption. Trauma by definition, involves experiences that overwhelm an individual’s ability to cope and, hence, to make sense of certain life events. In this light, post traumatic responses can be seen as an attempt to master feelings of helplessness, terror and guilt.

The intent of this paper is to provide missionaries, as well as supportive personnel, with a framework that can make sense of and, thus, deal with the destructive effects of unresolved trauma. Trauma is rarely understood and often mistreated, even by members of the psychological profession. This paper tries to address trauma in regard to its definition, its various forms, its short and long term effects, and its implications for missionary life. Considerations regarding treatment and prevention will also be addressed.

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The information and impressions contained in this paper have emerged out of 15 years of work as a psychologist, as well as five years of working exclusively with members of various Catholic missionary sending societies (from four different continents, i.e., America, Europe, Africa and Australia). I have also assessed or treated over 100 missionaries (lay, clergy and religious) who have been victims of post-traumatic stress.

In addition, I have consulted with a team of four psychologists and a formation consultant, for over a period of four years. Combined, all of these individuals, including myself have over 50 years of experience working with missionaries. These individuals have also worked with hundreds of clergy and religious in a variety of counselling-related capacities. Their experiences also support and confirm the contents of this work.

Many missionaries, coming out of war and trauma zones, suffer from a variety of trauma-related symptoms. Such symptoms often slowly undermine and destroy the physical, emotional and spiritual well-being of these dedicated men and women. The hope is that this article will help traumatized missionaries return to vital, well-balanced, and productive lives.

Being a missionary can be very dangerous. This is especially true in certain violent parts of the world, including certain American inner cities. In these locations physical hardship, disease and frequent exposures to violence are an inherent part of their lives. The effects of violence and trauma can not be underestimated. In addition, for some men and women, ministries permeated by violence hold a powerful and unconscious attraction. Such attractions are often driven by powerful motives which typically remain in their unconscious and their own unresolved history of trauma.

The debriefing of missionaries returning from extended tours of mission work is often a pro forma exercise. This is often due to a lack of understanding and training of the part of counsellors, rather than to emotional indifference on the part of missionary personnel.

The impact of violence during any tour of duty, let along the last one, is rarely taken into consideration. Overseas ministries can be peppered with years of direct exposures to crime, psychological intimidation, sexual assault, military and terrorist threats, kidnappings, armed coercion, torture, rape and murder. Repeated robberies and home invasions by burglars, soldiers and terrorist are not uncommon for many missionaries. Similarly, daily living conditions characterized by destitution, oppression, disease and violence (both on the streets and in the homes) can wear down the most dedicated missionaries.

Witnessing violence is enough to cause severe psychological damage and long-term health problems (Davis and Friedman 1985). Exposures to violence can destroy feelings of safety, justice, personal efficacy and faith in humanity, as well as beliefs in a just and loving God. Concerns about mission, vocation and personal sanity are common side-effects of being continually exposed to traumatic events and repeated acts of injustice.

Unable to share feelings of rage, terror and helplessness with understanding associates is sometimes more devastating that the actual traumas. Stifled despair can be deadly. Overwhelmed missionaries often express the following: “What’s the use! Complaining doesn’t change anything!” “I’ve got so much work to do. There are so many in need. I can’t think about myself or these things.” “That is just the way things are.” “It is time to move on and find a new assignment.”

The above statements are often realistic and desperate attempts to preserve versions of self, world and God in the face of events that “fall outside the realm of usual experience” (American Psychiatric Association 1987). Concerns about the prevalence of human cruelty, selfishness and evil in the world get harder and harder to dismiss or suppress. Intellectual answers don’t suffice. Without a missiology capable of integrating and making sense of direct experiences with human cruelty, social inequality, oppression, injustice, violence and, most importantly, human generated acts of evil then feelings of powerlessness and despair can become the norm.

Heading home, accepting an administrative position, depending on an addiction, enduring a variety of health problems and being chronically depressed and/or socially isolated are often the only options available for an unsupported, mis-understood and isolated victim of trauma.

The attitude and expectation at home is usually to take off some time. Well-meaning administrators are often quite generous in providing sabbatical leaves, extended retreats and renewal programs. The problem is that more than just time or a formation experience is needed to heal trauma’s devastating effects. In addition, why many missionaries need to return home for lengthy periods of time in order to become physically and psychologically renewed is rarely discussed. Failure to answer such a question is not without great physical and emotional costs. The effects of a trauma, if left untreated can result in a variety of psychological, physical and interpersonal problems that can last a lifetime.

What is Trauma?

Van der Kolk (1986) characterizes trauma as involving “overwhelming experiences” which individuals are unable to integrate into their systems of belief and organizations of reality. The spectrum of trauma is vast. Becoming overwhelmed and de-stabilized, in a psychological and emotional sense can occur as a result of a single traumatic exposure or being caught in a natural catastrophe, such as an earthquake, tornado, tsunami and hurricane. Other traumatic events, the result of man-made disasters such as toxic spills, car accidents, airplane crashes, terrorist bombings, random shootings, rape and murder, can also have devastating impact. Episodic trauma can lead to feelings of being unable to cope or deal with reality. (Herman 1992).

One Catholic religious, returning home from a war torn country in Latin America, was exposed to considerable carnage and the murder of three community members. Over the course of the first six months back home, she was emotionally labile, had trouble sleeping, and rarely talked. What no one knew was that she was being constantly re-traumatized by terrifying flashbacks (over which she had little control). Her community, due to the fact that she did not pull herself together in what they considered to be a reasonable time, thought that she was mentally unstable and/or having some kind of breakdown. In actuality she was struggling with several common post-traumatic reactions. To make matters worse, she was referred to a psychiatrist who knew very little about post-traumatic stress. He concurred with the community’s perception of her mental instability.

Herman (1992) feels the there is a second type of post traumatic reaction, ie., Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. This is the result of experiencing or being exposed to repeated trauma events (of varying kinds), which often span a period of years and involves multiple perpetrators. Childhood physical and sexual abuse, various forms of kidnapping and captivity, torture, imprisonment and living in a police-state or war-torn country can create a disorder of Complex PTSD.

Missionaries that have lived and worked during times of violence in El Salvador, Chile, Argentina, Peru, Guatemala, Liberia, South Africa, Sudan, Tibet, East Timor, Vietnam, Cambodia, Sri Lanka, Israel and Northern Ireland, to name a few, most likely witnessed and/or experienced a variety of traumatic events, as well as worked with many men and women who were traumatized in a variety of ways. Chronic exposures to trauma can often lead to a diminished sense or loss of self, world and God.

Events are experienced as traumatic when they overload an individual’s capacity to cope with, protect self and/or other, and make sense. Feeling out of control, powerless and helpless are earmarks of having been traumatized. Understandably, the term “victim” is used to refer to someone who is suffering from a range of trauma generated feelings. Unable to deal with the after-effects of their trauma, many shut down emotionally and/or become plagued by a variety of intrusive thoughts and feelings.

“Survivor” is a term that has been reserved for those who have undergone a process of healing and, thus, is no longer imprisoned or feels victimized by the effects of his/her experiences of trauma.

Post Traumatic Reactions

Unable to talk about, grieve over or share feelings with sympathetic and understanding others often results in lives characterized by a slew of stress-related symptoms and behaviours.

Diminished responsiveness to the external world (psychic numbing), feelings of estrangement from others, and lack of interest in formerly pleasurable activities are some of the more subtle but common side-effects of trauma. Exposure to real or symbolic events/stimuli, considered by victims to be similar to the original trauma, can set off a sequence of traumatic feelings, thoughts and behaviours.

Impulsive behaviours can occur as a result of sudden changes in location, e.g., a new residence or lifestyle (America Psychiatric Association 1987). Disruption of a familiar routine can throw some untreated victims of trauma into a panic.

The Intrusive Phase (Horowitz) 1986) of a traumatic response can last up to six to eight weeks after a traumatic event: especially when a victim is able to get out the traumatic environment. During this time, lives become characterized by flashbacks, hypervigilance, irresolvable levels of stress, sleep disturbances (difficulties falling asleep, staying asleep, early morning awakenings and nightmares), startle responses, feelings of being unsafe, panic and anxiety attacks, problems concentrating and remembering, bouts of depression, crying and rage, social isolation, and estrangement.

Many victims, depending on the nature of the traumas incurred, tend to bypass many of the most disturbing aspects of the “intrusive phase.” All victims at some point (whether it is after the six - eight week period or right from the start) start to emotionally desensitize or become numb: if appropriate psychological care is not forthcoming. This type of numbing usually signals the start of the Denial Phase (Horowitz 1986). In this phase, which can last indefinitely, victims try by any means possible, to stay away from any thoughts or feelings that are suggestive of and/or generated by the original traumatic events. Alcohol, drugs, gambling etc., along with a variety of compulsive and/or impulsive behaviours, such as violent outbursts, sexual acting-out and excessive risk taking, are other ways of dealing with a range of post-traumatic thoughts and feelings. Tragically, many of these behaviours are self-destructive and/or life-threatening. Most are designed to distract or sedate (self-medicate) the individual from excessive feelings of fear, impotence, terror, depression and grief.

One European missionary, who frequently volunteered to collect dead bodies (for the purpose of identifying them for frightened family members), often drove into a totally black Township alone at night. Masked gunman would taunt and interrogate him every step of the way. The missionary claimed that he was never afraid. Years of exposure to violence, both at home and abroad, had taught him to emotionally numb out in the face of danger. At the time, he failed to realize that he had to have several drinks every night in order to fall asleep, nor did he realize that he would also not allow himself to need anyone in an emotional way. Only during treatment, did he feel the terror, anger and confusion, which had always been present, but which he had never allowed himself to experience: primarily because he had never been in an environment safe enough to do so.

Many veteran missionaries have witnessed or worked with those involved in mass executions, mutilations, rapes, and indiscriminate slaughters. Over time these men and women have learned to adapt to the violence around them and how to suppress their feelings. Paramedics, military corpsmen, emergency room personnel, and many other health-care providers, who work in dangerous environments and/or with highly traumatized populations, learn how not to feel.

Once in treatment, where support and understanding can be found, an individual’s sense of numbness” can begin to melt. At this time, the devastating effects of trauma (described above) gradually start to emerge in awareness and the body, albeit this time in an atmosphere that is capable of dealing with and modulating what was formerly experienced as overwhelming. These healing environments can restore a sense of empowerment, understanding and safety which was absent at that time of the original traumatic events. Without treatment the most damaging aspects of trauma usually stay underground for an indeterminate amount of time. When this is the case, tremendous costs to physical, emotional and spiritual health, as well as interpersonal relationships and vocations, are the result.

Part of the difficulty of treating a missionary is that s/he has been trained to be tough and not let certain feelings affect him/her. Frequently, considerable emotional and physical pain are repressed and/or offered up to God. In the case of a traumatic injury, such an attitude can have life-threatening consequences.

Childhood Trauma

Some minsters and pastoral agents, expecially those who choose to work in violent settings and/or with highly traumatised populations, come from families where violence was a regular part of daily life. Physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal violence and spousal battering are just some of what church ministers have had to witness regularly or experience as a child. Others grew up in cultures where politically motivated violence regularly spilled out into the streets.

Due to political and economic oppression, one African minister’s family had to split up when he was eleven years old. His father had no work and had to go far away to the mines in order to scratch out a meagre existence. His mother was also forced to seek work far away from home. As a boy, this minister was regularly caned, first by his father and then later by his relatives into whose care he was entrusted. Cousins, along with other village boys, also beat him regularly. All of these experiences, coupled with the violence and bloodshed that was taking place in his culture, left him completely numb. By the time he was 35 years of age, he did not know how to feel or what he felt. His head and mind dictated his behaviour. Only in treatment did he allow himself to feel (for the first time), not only the pain and injustice of his childhood, but also in regard to his country’s situation.

Many minsters grew up in cultures and homes characterised by poverty, violence, physical abuse and alcohol abuse. Severely restricted educational and medical opportunities only exacerbated their difficult circumstances. The sexual exploitation of children and alcoholism, in many cultures including America, were not uncommon. People growing up in cultures permeated by violence, political corruption and exploitation have few options but to adapt. The tragedy is that they often end up entering into and/or creating parallel realities: at home and/or in the missions.

Growing up in a traumatic environment makes an individual a prime candidate to unwittingly seek out traumatic situations in his/her adult life. Ministries taken up, in cultures that are permeated by violence can often prevent any attempt to reconnect with a repressed and/or violent personal history. A vocation for an untreated victim of childhood abuse or trauma can often be an attempt to both emphasize with oppressed people and, as well as prove something to a condemning God of childhood. A life of dedication to God’s less fortunate can be an unconscious way of seeking to atone for shameful acts and feelings that were a result of early childhood abuse. At the same time the hope, for many, was that a life based on good works would overcome inherent feelings of inadequacy; while achieving personal salvation at the same time. Certain unconscious feelings and conclusions about self -worth that are connected to early experiences of abuse, can get confused with authentic feelings of compassion for the opressed (Grant 1994). Many who work with traumatized populations identify with those under their care. One sister worked for 15 ears in India with child prostitutes. After becoming totally “burned out” and entering therapy, she eventually got in touch with her own childhood sexual abuse.

Early unresolved abuse often convinces victims that personal worth can only be obtained through continually striving to be good, self-sacrificing, and catering to the needs of other people. Spiritual formation often communicates a similar message, without realizing the meaning such a message can have for an unrecovered victim of childhood abuse.

The above conditioning is quite familiar to childhood victims of abuse who realize that they are totally on their own and, thus, can depend on no one. Inadvertently, receiving this kind of message as an adult can reinforce feelings of inadequacy, for no one can be truly self-sufficient. Yet many untreated victims of childhood abuse will do everything in their power to become totally self-contained. Hardship, suffering and even premature death are the road taken by many Christian missionaries. Unconscious motives, driven by forgotten abuse, inevitably lead to some form of disillusionment and/or “burnout.”

Martyrdom can also be an unrecognized replication of a childhood trauma. It can be an attempt to atone for “toxic shame” (Bradshaw 1989) or to find a socially acceptable way to put an end to a tormented life. I know of several male missionaries who worked themselves to death and/or were killed in their mid-forties; despite the pleas of their confreres and associates to slow down, to be more careful and to take better care of themselves.

A life of dedication and self-sacrifice requires a great deal of discernment. Most young missionaries have not had the opportunity to work through a multitude of spiritual and psychological injuries. Traditional formation has not had at its disposal the considerable body of knowledge that has been generated by research in regard to psychological effects of abuse and trauma. Candidate assessments and formation practices typically do not take a serious look at the influence of early childhood injuries. As a result, undiagnosed and unrecovered victims of trauma often pass through the system and end up in missionary work at greater risk of further injury.

Survivor Guilt

Many missionaries also suffer from survivor guilt. Being reared in relatively privileged backgrounds, able to flee overwhelming situations of poverty and violence at a moment’s notice, often leads to series of self-recriminations and self-inflicted deprivations. Feelings of not having done enough for those killed, injured, tortured, raped or prematurely separated from loved ones can plague the conscientious missionary. The taking excessive responsibility is often a result (Briere, 1989) of survivor guilt. Some missionaries have been known to become so involved with victimized locals and their families that unhealthy dependencies are created. Often it is easier to feel responsible than to feel guilty or helpless. Having been spared tragedy can become a curse rather than a blessing for some missionaries.

One American missionary in Latin America, over a course of five years (until he was brought back completely exhausted) almost worked himself to death. Unconsciously he was trying to atone for the death of a young man whom he had inadvertently placed in a job that eventually led to his being physically and sexually exploited and eventually murdered by the military police. He spent over a year trying to find this young man’s remains and then spent several more years taking care of the youth’s family, as well as other vulnerable boys in the town where he had lived.

Unresolved Grief

Many missionaries also suffer from forms of unresolved and pathological grief. Losses, ranging from cherished friends to highly valued ministries, occur all the time. Part of the missionary credo is to keep moving because there are so many people in need. As a result, many rarely get to stay anywhere long enough to put down any type of roots. Dwelling on personal losses is often considered to be selfish. As a result, proper forms of mourning rarely occur. Grief becomes masked in either physical symptoms or various forms of maladaptive behaviour. “Pain is often a symbol of repressed grief (Worden, 1982, p.61). Hearts and souls remain frozen in the past, rather than directed towards the present and future, where bereavement and mourning are not allowed to occur.

The Long Term Effects of Trauma

Gradually and without realising it, the daily routines of unresolved trauma victims begin to unravel. In the most severe cases, less and less time is made for friends, self care and forms of recreation. Exercise and pleasurable activities are the first to go. Work then becomes all-consuming. Protection of the vulnerable, along with just trying to survival, becomes the top priority. Overcoming feelings of horror, helplessness and alienation, in an increasingly unmanageable world, can draw all of one’s energy and attention.

Beneath the increasing depression and interpersonal alienation and rage a justice-seeking type of retribution may be burning silently. Alone and unable to articulate what is destroying him/her, on a deep level, the missionary may work harder to restore feelings of personal efficacy and beliefs in a just world where good overcomes evil. Not believing that good will prevail over evil can lead to serious forms of despair and hopelessness. Much of a missionary’s life flows out of this belief, as well as the belief that s/he can make a difference. Being vulnerable and cut off from protection and support only increase the above concerns.

Consequences

Many trauma victims tend to fixate on traumatic events. Daily routines are built around safeguarding against the possibility of being victimized. This type of victim often feels that no one, especially those who have not been missionaries, can understand what s/he has been through. Recently, several missionaries coming home from an African country that had been ravaged by a long civil war, were only able to tolerate being back in the States for about 10 days, despite the fact that they were exhausted and highly traumatized. During that time their stateside superiors were understandably concerned and confused. Unbeknownst to the superiors, these men were suffering from a variety of post-traumatic stress reactions. Their struggles were exacerbated by the fact that their American confreres, living a rather middle-class and predictable existence, had little sense of or desire to know about the horror that these men had recently witnessed. As a result, the only place that they felt that could understand them and/or put themselves emotionally back together was with the war victims that they had just left.

Denial often takes the form of collective myopia. Few people have the desire or ability to integrate feelings and experiences that do not fit into the meaning systems and worldviews that are supported by their cultures and churches.

Failure to find others who can understand, care and listen to, as well as validate non-normative experiences only increases feelings of isolation, depression and debilitation. Despite continuing to work, life for many trauma victims who that they have experienced things outside of the parameters of several normative world-views, becomes empty and meaningless. Numbness can increase to the point of not knowing who one is or what s/he feels or needs. Stress and isolations become impossible to negotiate. Drugs as well as other forms of stimulation or de-stimulation provide only temporary relief. Dangerous and stressful work is also often sought. Stress can keep one busy and distracted, as well as make a chronically numb body feel. Danger gets adrenaline flowing and allows a depressed and numb nervous system to feel temporarily alive. Many who suffer from PTSD feel normal only when living on the “the edge” or in the midst of trauma. Traumatic events release a variety of stimulants and pain- killing endorphins. Survivors of chronic trauma frequently live with underaroused and depressed nervous system. They become addicted to the physiological side-effects of trauma (Van der Kolk 1986) and only feel normal at these times.

Tom, a missionary who witnessed several Central America atrocities, often felt bored. In reality he was numb and depressed. If he was not involved in or volunteering for some type of dangerous assignment then the doldrums would overwhelm him.

Many trauma victims are susceptible to treading in where others would normally be afraid. These individuals are at home with trauma. They know how to act. Through years of conditioning, either as children and/or adults, they have learned to deaden feelings, repress certain events and skilfully distort reality. Apathy, functionalism, unfeeling efficiency and naive optimism are dispositions commonly used to cope with the effects of violence and trauma.

Some victims of trauma find day-to-day stresses to be overwhelming. Unthreatening stimuli and a variety of innocuous events can trigger mild or severe panic reactions. Inappropriate or exaggerated reactions become automatic. A missionary couple recently had to leave their assignment in Peru and return to the U.S. because they were unable to sleep. Death threats had been made and one night someone shot up their residence, while they were in bed, with an automatic rifle. Months later, any sharp sound heard outside in the evening had them diving under their beds. Excessive concerns for safety, coupled with inabilities to sleep and relax, forced them to leave their mission.

Implications

Most personnel departments are not trained or set up to help those who suffer from mild or severe PTSD. As a result, usually only a missionary in extreme emotional or physical distress gets the attention of a professional. Typically, such care is farmed out to an outside agency and therapeutic professionals who often know very little about post-traumatic stress or missionary culture. Hence, the burden of care, for those who have not fallen apart, tends to rest on their own shoulders. The prevailing sentiment is that all will “work out” in time and with some type of renewal experience. This is the exact opposite of what is really needed. Being isolated usually exacerbates feelings of powerlessness, shame, inadequacy and rage.

Failure to survive traumatic events, within a resonable amount of time, is often felt to be a sign of emotional and/or spiritual weakness. Peer pressure, amongst missionaries, is another powerful force. Many trauma survivors opt for less noticeable ways of coping, such as “mood altering” or fleeing from frightening and painful symptoms. Process addictions (i.e., gambling, sex, eating, shopping, reading) often become part of a missionary’s “secret life.” Most missionaries are used to being able to control and manage the kinds of internal chaos that are generated by intrusive thoughts and feelings, along with the very realistic concern of having their identity dis-integrate.

An addictions serves many purposes. Initially, and for some time if managed properly, can provide a predictable, consistent, private and readily available way of altering a range of distressing and uncontrollable thoughts and feelings. The best addictions are those which are hard for others to discover, eg. alcoholism, compulsive masturbation and internet sex, along with workaholism and various forms of co-dependency. Becoming overly invested in the needs of others, in order to deny feelings of powerlessness and impotence, is another proven road to disaster; especially for a Christian. The co-dependent and the workaholic are doomed to host of future problems.

On the other hand, some with experiences in the missions withdraw from overseas duties. They become restless, apathetic or directionless. Choosing future assignments becomes quite difficult for them. Medical complaints of undiagnosable origins are not uncommon.

Unfortunately, many of those carrying the unresolved effects of trauma learn to muddle along. The tragedy is that there are a large number of “walking wounded” in missionary life. Many individuals under 50 years of age, unlike their older peers, have worked without an unwavering sense of purpose and meaning. That is, many contemporary missionaries do not have a missiology that is grounded in an unshakeable faith and culturally supported world-view, as many of their predecessors once had.

Extensive interior damage (psychological and emotional) on the part of their members, as a result of unresolved trauma, is the norm for many missionary sending societies. Few are spared and, therefore, few feel that anything is seriously amiss. Repression and numbing become the standard of maturity rather than a symptom of a much larger issue. Despite the best intentions, the numb only end up leading the numb. Lives of quiet desperation, marked by spiritual and emotional malaise, becomes the fate of many who are left untreated.

Treatment

A healing environment must demonstrate that is safe, supportive, understanding and can restore a sense of meaning and efficacy. It can provide assurance that excessive vigilance is no longer necessary. A rupture in the “taken for granted” has occurred. Supporters must share in the victims suffering and need to make sense of overwhelming experiences. Traumatic events must be taken up in ways that enable individuals to move forward in life with a greater sense of depth and purpose. Awareness that becoming a victim again is a possibility also needs to be faced, especially by those who will return to the missions. Facets of the trauma, which continue to be overlooked, will lead to a deeper sense of alienation, despair, anger and resignation. Support and reintegration into a community is an essential component of any trauma recovery (Herman 1992).

Sharing painful events and feelings with confreres, friends or therapists (who are able to bear witness) can allow victims to give testimony and make sense of what happened and to realize that events could not have turned out differently (Herman 192). Supportive others decrease the need to continually be suspicious and vigilant.

The absence of community support and understanding is often more traumatic that the original event(s). The absence of support confirms that one is alone, as well as possibly inferior or defective for not have handle these events better. Feelings of being different, inadequate, and unable to handle tough situations forces many to conclude that violence is a part of live that they just have to get used to. Reaching this point signals a type of emotional surrender or defeatism. Empowerment, not patronization, needs to be the focus of their healing. Reconnecting with supportive and understanding others can restore feelings of self-worth, solidarity and confidence.

Tragically, for a variety of reasons, ranging from the missionary mystique to a lack of information, few missionaries receive any type of the treatment in regard to the issues mentioned above. Surviving, rather than thriving, then becomes the top priority of many who are untreated victims of repeated trauma.

The long-term survivor habituates or adapts to violence and insanity because s/he has no other choice. Since there is no emotional support or understanding of traumatic effects, many missionaries become increasingly deadened on every level of their being. The effects of this type of compromise are gradual and insidious, like the effects of a river current continuing to polish a submerged stone.

Family, far removed from the danger, are often the only ones to notice the dramatic changes that have been experienced by their loved ones. It is as if one becomes a depleted version of who s/he once was. Jim, a missionary priest in Latin America, had not seen his family in several years. During that time he worked in a refugee camp as the only missionary for 15,000 Indigenous Indians who were on the verge of being exterminated by the Guatemalan military. He, as well as most of the refugees, had witnessed a large number of traumatic events. Upon seeing him, his family nearly went into shock. Thirty pounds underweight, working 16 hour days and surviving on 3-4 hours of sleep for the last few years, had him looking like a concentration-camp victim. Because he didn't look much different than most of the refugees he worked with caused him to not to notice the gradual deterioration of his total being.

When a God-inspired ministry is felt to be ineffective against the powers of corruption and evil, a missionary’s identity is in grave danger of collapse. Efficacious ministry is often the cornerstone of most missionary identities. If physically able, many will dig in, redouble their efforts, and try to “gut it out.” To bail out and acknowledge trauma-induced limits is too great a shame. Termination of ministry can be equated with having unbearable childhood and formation stigmas, regarding personal inadequacy, confirmed. Refusal to surrender such stigmas can become a life-and-death struggle. Dying with one’s boots on is sometimes the tragic result.

Intimacy is what victims of trauma desperately need. Yet, it is exactly what early abuse, formation, and mission life tells them to avoid. When you get close to people they either abandon you or die. Unfortunately, healing does not occur in isolation or in a vacuum. Individuals need to feel affirmed, supported and cared for by understanding others. Most importantly, group support is not enough by itself. A group facilitator must also be knowledgeable about the effects and various defence mechanisms (both cognitive and behavioural) that are used by victims of trauma.

Recommendations to help those ending assignments, beginning sabbaticals, as well as those in need of a discernment process and/or psychological counselling, as a result of a recent crisis.

A process needs to be set up to regularly debriefing returning missionaries and to provide them with a renewal process. Detailed interviewing to record mission stories and early formation histories should be the focus. This process should occur over a number of days. Psychological assessment and attention to PTSD symptomology should also be a part of the process. This allows the returnee to make a gradual transition back to community life, while slowing down, being cared for, taken seriously, understood, and allowed to mourn with supportive other(s).This process should be made available to all, especially those who have recently been through a violent and traumatic period. It can also be used in a residential program that would be designed to review early formation and mission experiences. This would expand upon and deepen the biographical process described above. It would also provide considerable group work, education and bodily exercise, individual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy and spiritual direction, while utilizing a variety of expressive modalities. The program should be experientially oriented. The intent is to get people out of their heads and back into their hearts and bodies. Sharing personal stories, in group and private settings, would make up the core of the program. This program should be designed in full view of missionary life. A program designed without the awareness of the unique pressures and strains of missionary life would be a serious mistake.

Ongoing support groups need to be set up in the mission context. Continuity of care is essential, especially for those finishing up the residential program described above. Regional members must be able to draw regularly upon a base of support understanding, care, and accurate information. Such a setting would also orient, guide, and educate new members in the region. Without ongoing support, crisis intervention rather than preventative care, will become the pattern, and many in the field will, therefore, be at risk becoming more and more emotionally numb.

Formation practices should be developed that have greater sensitivity to premorbid histories of abuse. Preparing a missionary for the psychological and spiritual rigors of missionary life, as well as alerting him/her to the causes, symptoms and behaviours that are associated with Post Traumatic Stress, is of vital importance. Self-awareness and early detection are often the best safeguards against debilitation and breakdown. Preventive education is a must.

Additionally, many missionaries suffering from the effects of violence and trauma also carry a great deal of unresolved grief. Proper mourning for lost friends, co-workers, parishioners, and children, who were emotionally close to and loved by the missionary, should also occur. Chronic, low-grade depression, long-term somatic complaints, and emotional withdrawal are common symptom of unresolved grief. Education regarding the nature of and symptoms related to bereavement and mourning need to become a regular part of formation training, as well as part of the training for all those who work in the Personnel Department of a mission sending group.

Last but not least a spirituality of mission needs to be developed that is able to provide meaning and direction for those constantly faced with experiences of human generated violence and oppression, as well as stark expressions of evil and inhuman behavior. The “martyr motive" (Dries 1991), which formerly allowed men and women to deal with changes in culture, as well as violence, is no longer sufficient. Spiritualities grounded in martyrdom only encourage people to internalize trauma and its destructive effects instead of working them through.

Missionaries live on a daily basis with strong existential and theological conflicts. These conflicts must be shared, discussed, and articulated so that a faith-based ministry can be developed, integrated into one's core belief system, and relied upon in times of great stress, hardship, and tragedy.

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Foreign Mission Literature, 1893-1925." Missiology 19(3): 305-314. 1991

Grant, Robert Healing the Soul of the Church: Ministers Facing Their

Own Childhood Abuse. Published by the author. 1994

Herman, Judith Lewis. Trauma and Recovery. New York: Basic Books. 1992

Horowitz, Mardi. Stress Response Syndromes. New York: Jason Aronson. 1986

Van der Kolk, Basel Psychological Trauma. Washington, DC:

American Psychiatric Press. 1986

Worden, J. William Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy. New York:

Singer Publishing Company. 1982

Robert Grant, a doctoral graduate of Duquese University, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvanian, specializes in the area of psychological trauma. Currently, he spends much of his time educating and training ministers/spiritual directors, from several faiths, in the assessment and treatment of psychological trauma (including childhood abuse). International relief agencies are also consulted to in this regard.

Recommendations grounded in the idea of martyrdom only encourage people to internalize trauma and its destructive effects instead of working them through.

Missionaries live on a daily basis with strong existential and theological conflicts. These conflicts must be shared, discussed, and articulated so that a deeper faith-based ministry can be developed and integrated into an individual’s core belief system, and relied upon in times of great stress, hardship, and tragedy.